iAm Not Good Enough
by chasingafterstarlight
Summary: She doesn't deserve him, but for some reason, he settles for her. Sam/Freddie


**iAm Not Good Enough**

She's not good enough (for him).

She knows it, she feels it deep down in her heart of hearts.

She feels it every time he walks by with the brunette, laughing and chatting (which he never does with her). They're perfect together and she's just there to _ruin _it.

(_Just like she ruins everything else)_

He acts like everything's normal between them, as if. It hasn't been normal, and it won't be normal again ever since she let it slip that she liked him on air. He just ignored it, acted like nothing even happened, and _Sam Puckett _doesn't take that in stride.

She plays the ignoring game back, and she plays harder than he does. She plays _to win._

_(but it still hurts when he marches around the school, arm in arm with her brunette best friend)_

His popularity is growing by the minute, while hers is diminishing by the second (and he won't ever let her forget it, will he?).

He's got hoards of blondes, brunettes, redheads and black-haired girls chasing him around the school while she's desperate to find a guy to take her to prom.

In pity he asks her to prom, and in pride she turns him down.

When he asks why, she just tells him that he's too good for her and there are plenty of other girls that are more worthy of him.

He just shakes his head and gives her a weird look.

_(she's not one to be taken on pity dates)_

He ends up going with his precious _Carly _to prom. She smiles and pretends to be perfectly okay because she really should be happy for them, shouldn't she? They ask her time and time again why she won't go with them to the prom, why she won't just go stag. She doesn't tell them that it hurts too much. She walks with them to the door of the prom, reassures them that she'll be perfectly fine, then walks home alone, her cerulean eyes tracing the dark shadows on the building walls.

_(thank goodness they didn't see her teeth sinking hard into her lip)_

It's been quite a while when he works up the nerve to ask her if she still likes him.

She just glares at him, silently asking him to change the subject _or else_, and that's that (for now).

If she tells him the truth…of course she still likes him, and no matter what happens, she's pretty sure she always will. But she's not much for cheesy, cliché confessions and she _hates _to express her feelings. So she'd rather just let him assume what he wants and let her (and only her) know what she's really feeling.

This time, she doesn't even tell Carly.

_(it's just another one on the list of broken promises)_

He tells her that he likes her.

She doesn't believe him.

Her eyes glare up into his, and she immediately lets out a string of threats (_"you're lying to me, I know it, and if you don't tell me the truth right now Freddie Benson then you'll wake up dead tomorrow!")_.

He just laughs and asks her how someone can _wake up dead._

It's not a laughing matter, not at all, he's _playing with her feelings _and she doesn't appreciate it one bit. She extends a small but powerful hand and smacks him hard across the face.

The boy is yelling, asking her what would possess her to do that, and she just shrugs and smirks and hopes he'll change the subject soon. Maybe he'd forget that he even brought it up.

But then he's expressing his feelings even stronger ("_I love you"). _She's so sure that she can't handle this and she still doesn't believe it, so he repeats it over and over again. _("I love you. I love you. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.")_

_(like him repeating it would help)_

They're back at square one, playing the ignoring game they've been playing most of their lives.

One of the common qualities that the two share is that they both run away from things, rather than face their problems head-on. She _prefers _not to deal with this whole _Freddie _situation and he prefers not to confront her so they're (_once again_) caught in a big game of _mouse-and-mouse _(they're both running from each other).

Carly tries to get them to talk, to work out their numerous problems (they're the most dysfunctional couple ever, aren't they?). But all she says to Carly is something about how she's the one that went with Fredward to prom so _she's _the one in the relationship.

And then Carly tells her the words she can't handle.

"_But you're the one who's in love with him."_

_(and she runs away again because she can't handle the fact that she's in love)_

She's too chicken to confront him face-to-face, so she takes a piece of dark black paper (a symbol) and uses her dark red gel pen to scrawl a message: _If you love me or whatever, why did you go to prom with Carly?_

She doesn't sign it; she figures he'll know who it is, and she shoves it through one of the vents in his locker (239, he still has the same one from back in the day when they shared).

After the next class it reappears in her locker, and she sees the six words she supposes she's wanted to hear all along:

"_We're just friends. I love __**you."**_

But she still doesn't know how to react so she just throws it back in her locker and tries to think it through.

_(she usually acts on impulse but she figures it might not work now)_

She's balanced on the fire escape railing, taking in her usual dose of adrenaline that usually helps her to think. He comes out there and scares her so badly that she almost tumbles to the dark ground. Yet before she falls, his strong hand encloses itself around hers and pulls her back up.

Shaking his head, he tells her how much she scared him. She just cocks her head to the side, not surprised because it's just _another day in the life and times of Sam Puckett._

He asks her why she's here, and she doesn't know how to respond.

It takes her a while to choose her words carefully: "_I was upset._"

_Upset _is an understatement.

_(she's not one to tell anyone, especially him, how she feels)_

He chases after her, sort of like her cliché, sick_and_twisted prince.

For whatever reason, he tells her that she's so _beautiful _and smart. He tells her all these good things and she's blinking rapidly, no, no, _no, _he's got to be lying. No one like him should be with someone like her. But he swears (even on his mother's grave) that he's in love with her.

So she finally, _finally _accepts it.

And when he's walking away, she finally gets up the courage to whisper it.

"_I love you."_

_(she's not a coward, after all)_

She's not good enough (for him).

He deserves someone who will tell him everyday how good he is to her and how handsome he is. He deserves someone who will hold his hand in the hallways and kiss his cheek in the corridors. He deserves someone who will graduate with top honors and become the perfect stay-at-home mom.

_(but for some reason, he settles for her)_

**A/N: so that was pretty much a piece of crap. I was originally trying something new and it just took a wrong direction- was it even worth it for me to post it? It took less than an hour, so definitely not my best. Review it anyway!**

**If you didn't understand it, Sam confessed that she liked Freddie on iCarly. Freddie's getting popular, so he's getting all these dates to prom. He asks Sam to the prom, but she turns him down because she thinks that she's a pity date, but he's actually in love with her. He goes with Carly as friends, but Sam thinks it's something more. He then asks her if she still likes him, and then he tells her he's in love with her, but she doesn't believe him. They start ignoring each other. She leaves a note in his locker asking why he took Carly to prom, and he says they were just friends. She goes to his fire escape, almost falls off, Freddie saves her, and then she finally accepts that he's in love with her. As he's leaving, she whispers that she loves him back (whether he heard or not, you'll never know).**

**Make more sense now?**

**Well, review!**

**I'll update iAm a Teacher….as soon as I get a good idea of what to write.**


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